


Incident 239-8018-J: There is no God scarier than a Teenage Girl

by lanondolce



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: 239 discovers fanfiction and everybody straight up doesn’t have a good time, Because tentacle shenanigans, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Other, Tentacle Monsters, The whole premise of this fic tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28821300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanondolce/pseuds/lanondolce
Summary: SCP-239 is accidentally exposed to SCP fanfiction…and it’s rather inappropriate SCP fanfiction.It's up to our heroes to try and solve this mess before all of Site 17 crumbles to the ground, in a pile of very OOC debris (and possibly, before they're all forced to make out with each other).
Relationships: Dr. Alto Clef/Dr. Benjamin Kondraki, Dr. Gears/Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation), SCP-035/SCP-049 (SCP Foundation)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 65





	Incident 239-8018-J: There is no God scarier than a Teenage Girl

**Author's Note:**

> For the sake of this fic making the slightest amount of sense, please pretend almost of all of SCP-239-B doesn't exist. Also, in this AU, the SCP Foundation has better means of controlling 239's powers and is attempting to utilize her for the capture of other SCPs

**Note** : The following report has been CLOSED and is currently under review by Dr. M██. If any personnel would like to file a complaint regarding the contents of this page, then they can direct their grievances towards someone with O-5 clearance or higher. However, editing this log in any capacity, without proper authorization, is strictly forbidden.

* * *

  
I have stated time and time again that when it comes to 239's containment, it is imperative that no half-measures of any kind be taken. This goes for any anomaly, but I feel sometimes the Foundation either forgets, or willfully ignores, the sheer scope of damage 239 would be capable of causing in a CK-class scenario. I feel my words should be useless, however. For the incident that occurred should be more than enough to convince people of this fact, even if they choose not to trust that which is coming out of my mouth specifically.  
Perhaps it is because it's cute? I feel if it weren't a little girl, but instead some type of putrid, rancid smelling pile of decomposing [DATA EXPUNGED], my colleague's disposition towards it wouldn't be nearly as amicable.

Then again, when it comes to SCP-239, it is hard to tell when feelings are genuine, or when they're the result of a subtle yet gradual manifestation of its powers. Latent or otherwise. But maybe I'm wrong.

However, let it be known that whoever is responsible for creating that flaming pile of poorly-written garbage has their days numbered. I advise said individual to sleep with an eyeball on their dresser at night, because keeping a single eye open won't be nearly enough to save them from the gruesome fate I have planned for them.

  
-Clef  
  


* * *

**Post Incident Interview Log X████, Date ██-█-████**

**Dr. ██** ██: "So, Dr. Iceberg, do you have any comments on the events which took place?

 **Iceberg** : "…"

 **Dr.** ████: "Dr. Iceberg?"

 **Iceberg** : "Comments? COMMENTS?! Do you have any idea how humiliating what I went through was? I don't think you do, because if you did, you'd have the tact not to ask me something like that."

 **Dr**. ████: "Dr. Iceberg, please just answer the question."

 **Iceberg** : "Very well, fine. That, thing…I can't believe I was forced to play out its sick fantasies. I had no idea what was going on at first. How could I? I thought I was dying, that somebody had slipped arsenic in my drink. My stomach…it felt as if my stomach were literally eating itself. As if my intestines were being twisted in knots and set on fire. I really did think I was going to die. But do you know what it was?"

 **Dr**. ████: "No. What was it, Dr. Iceberg?"

 **Iceberg** : "It was [DATA EXPUNGED]"

  


* * *

  
  


**Surveillance Log S-J-239, Date** █-██-████

12:13 SCP-239 is standing by the bookshelf in its containment cell. SCP-239 extends a hand towards one of the books. [The object in question has now been reclassified as SCP-8018-J. For more information, personnel with the proper clearance level may access its designated file]

12:14 SCP-239 is surprised by the presence of SCP-8018-J. Subject proceeds to flip through a few pages.

12:25 SCP-239 is sat down in a corner of its cell. SCP-239 has read halfway through SCP-8018-J's contents. At regular intervals, the subject stands up, throws the object across the room, and emits a series of high pitched shrieks and squeals. However, SCP-239 always picks it back up and continues reading.

12:58 SCP-239 has read through the entirety of the book. The subject stares blankly off into space for approximately a minute. It then gets up and begins pacing rapidly about the containment cell, SCP-8018-J tucked underneath its arm.

* * *

  
**Audio Log S███-████ Date: █-██-████**

<Iceberg>: Sir, my apologies, but…

<Gears>: …

<Gears>: You have my attention, Dr. Iceberg.

<Iceberg> [Pained] I! I, _shit_ -

<Gears> You appear to be in pain.

<Iceberg> _That's because I am!_

<Gears> Do you require medical assistance?

<Iceberg> I…ah…damn…my stomach…augh, what is this-? I feel…hot-?

<Gears> That certainly is unusual for you.

<Iceberg> Don't just stand there, I- _agh_ -! [Panting, followed by strained groaning]

<Gears>…

<Iceberg> I…what the actual hell is going on-you! This is your fault, isn't it?!

<Gears> And what would lead you to that conclusion?

<Iceberg> That look on your face-I know something's up! You…haa… _f-ck_ -

<Gears> What look on my face, Dr. Iceberg?

<Iceberg> Quit messing around with me! God, why is this happening, why now, why in front of you, of all people?!

<Gears>…Pardon?

<Iceberg> _My heat-!_ My…what…?

<Gears> I'm not quite sure what you're referring to.

<Iceberg> Now I know you're just messing with me, or am I…gah! I feel like I'm losing my mind!

<Gears> I wouldn't know.

<Iceberg> You…God, my head hurts…everything hurts…Sir...I…

<Iceberg>…Somehow…I wish it weren't the case but…I know you can help me...so…if you…

[Gears makes a noise of affirmation]

<Iceberg>[Strained]…Asshole…

[DATA REDACTED]

* * *

**The following is an excerpt that was recovered from a chapter of SCP-8018-J, titled "The Steamy Love Of Hot, Boiling Ice"**

_Dr. Iceberg looked up at the tall alpha, a pleading look sparkling in his large blue orbs. The feeling of wonton need in his stomach coiled around him like a snake with no mercy, enveloping his whole body even to the very tips of his fingers._

_"sir…" he begged in a in a voice dripping with need and lust. "I need you. It hurts too much, I need you inside me…"_

_Iceberg really didnt want this. He doesn't want to be with that asshole alpha, ugh! He's so stuck up and mean and cold, all the time. Iceberg hates him so much and he hates working for him, he wished his body weren't burning so hard for him right now._

_Dr. Gears looked down at the small, pliant omega who's face was beat red and who was shaking and crying. He wasnt usually one to give into his primal instincts and urges, but he had to admit that the way he quivered made his manhood twitch._

_Gears grabs Iceberg by the chin and looks him the eye._

_"Either way, I'm afraid you dont have much of a choice. The logical conclusion to this conundrum is that I am going to have sex with you."_

_Dr. Iceberg gulps, inhaling a shaky breath. The simple, oh so delicate contact of the tips of his fingers with his chin made his stomach do summersalts. He was a lost cause, Iceberg realized. In the end, he was weak when it came to his cold, insensitive, indomitable, unflappable boss. He was weak and he ended giving into the desires of his traitorous omega body._

* * *

  
**Excerpt from Post Incident Interview Log X████, Date: ██-█-████**

**Dr**. ████: "So, allow me to understand: you claim to have no memory of your conveyance from site 23 to site 17, nor any idea how it may have happened?"

 **Dr. Bright** : "Yup! Pretty much. I was running tests on SCP-528, when I exited the containment chamber. Had to take a bathroom break-everything was fine and dandy up until I exited the stall. At first, nothing looked out of place, but then I realized…"

 **Dr**. ████: "You were in a different location entirely."

 **Dr. Bright** : "Exactly-I didn't have much time to entertain any hypothesis on the nature of the sudden phenomena, though, like 'oh my! Is this the work of an enemy GOI?'. Because, it didn't take me long to realize I had company."

 **Dr**. ████: "Which happened to be an instance of 239's powers."

 **Dr. Bright** : "I assume that's what it was, yes."

 **Dr**. ████: "Can you recall any details of your interactions with the entity?"

 **Dr. Bright** : "…I guess I can. I'd rather not, though."

 **Dr**. ████: "…"

 **Dr. Bright** : "I mean, you've seen the video logs, right? I don't think there's any need for me to elaborate on that experience."

 **Dr**. ████: "Any information you may be able to provide the Foundation with is ultimately considered valuable."

 **Dr. Bright** : "Well, if you really must know, [DATA REDACTED]"

* * *

  
**Surveilance Log S███, Date █-██-████**

13:35 Dr. Bright, currently in the body of a 24 year old European male █ ██ █ ████ ██, exits one of the bathroom stalls. Bright appears confused, and scans his surroundings.

13:37 Bright checks the mirrors, the sinks, and every individual stall in the room. He mumbles something to himself.

13:38 Bright is startled by something.

13:39 A long appendage resembling those of the species _Octopus Vulgaris_ crawls out from between a crack in one of the stalls. Bright does not notice it until it has coiled around his left ankle.

13:40 Bright is yanked upwards by the appendage. He shouts, and tries to detach the tendril from his person, whilst dangling upside down. He does not succeed. Another tentacle slithers out of from ████, and hikes up his shirt. Bright is in a state of great duress.

13:44 [DATA REDACTED]

13:45 Bright pulls out a pocket knife and slashes one of the ██ tendrils that have spontaneously manifested in the room. He is dropped to the floor. He is █ ████ and covered in ██ █ ████. He gets up and scrambles for the exit.

13:46 The appendages writhe and spasm, an unknown fluid dripping from the cuts left by Bright. They appear enraged, and proceed to destroy everything inside the faculty lavatory, including the video surveillance system.

[FEED LOST]

* * *

  
  
_[Following Incident 239-8018-J, Dr. Bright, including a number of other Foundation personnel, the likes of ████, Dr. ██, Dr. ████ , ████ as well as ██ more Foundation staff have requested permission to have Class-B amnestics utilized on their person. The request is currently pending approval]_

* * *

  
**The following is another excerpt from a different chapter of SCP-8018-J, titled "Perverts Paradise SPC fanfiction (warning: smut!! don't like, dont read)"**

_dr. Bright creepily sneked through the dim hallways. his heart was pounding in his chest: badum badum! so hard he could hear it roaring in his ears._   
_he slowly approached the creature's containment cell. there where no guards around at the moment (he had personally made sure that would be the case) and used his id card to get inside. however when the door opened-_   
_it was completely empty!_   
_as it turned out, the creature was missing. 'what the hell?' dr. Birght thought to himself 'I checked the report myself a couple hours ago. the higher ups made no mention of moving the thing, notuntil next .tuesday. so where did it go?'_   
_he wondered if it was hiding so he checked every corner of the containment cell. but nothing was there! the thing was really gone!_   
_dr. bright huffed in disappointment.seriously? he had sneaked inside site 17 for this? this sucked._   
_he closed the door and made his way out. he walked through the halls (it was dark and gloomy) a dejected look on his face. he knew his superiors would give him grief and be a pain in the ass for this (since he didn't have permission to access site 17 at the time) and he was already cringing at the thought of being scolded._   
_before he left, however, he realized he had to take to go to the bathroom._   
_he went inside and did his business and then walked back out. he was washing his hands in the sink when he noticed it-_   
_something moving out of the corner of his eyes!_   
_it was really quick. but it had looked…slimy._   
_dr. Bright gulped and took a step forward._   
_he inspected the bathroom from head to toe and at first found no signs of anything weird. it just looked like a regular old foundation bathroom._   
_but there it was again!_   
_he whipped his head around. know he was 100% sure he hadn't dreamt it or anything! there was something in this room with him!_   
_before he could decide what to do though,he felt something cold, wet and stick wrap around his ankle and-!_   
_swoosh! he was flying through the air. he let out a scream at being manhandled, and soon came face to face with the creature that had attacked him in the darkened room:_   
_it was the very scp he had been looking for before!_   
_de Bright gasped. he had been scared at first, that fright was slowly being replaced with something else…something that was warm and tingly all over…_   
_the creature let out something that was simlar to a gurgle as it caressed his cheek with a long, slimy tentacle. this was exactly what he had been looking for. exactly why he had snaeked in and gone against his superior's orders. he could barely contain his excitement as he gently guided the thick tentacle into his mouth, sucking on it as if it were a lollipop._

* * *

  
I feel one of the more concerning aspects of SCP-8018-J-sans for our nigh complete ignorance when it comes to everything regarding it- is its ability to drastically amplify SCP-239's powers, so long as SCP-239 is touching it. At least, that is what we believe one of its anomalous properties are.

SCP-239 is undoubtably one of the more dangerous Keter class anomalies in Foundation custody. If it were not for SCP-9902-J*, aka Macguffin, limiting SCP-239's powers, I'm fairly sure the Foundation would've found a means of neutralizing it long before its 13th birthday.

The fact that there exists an object capable of countering SCP-9902-J's effects is…worrisome, to say the least. Even Dr. Bright and Dr. Clef, two individuals who in the past have shown significant resistance towards mind-altering agents, as well as SCPs with reality bending properties, were affected by SCP-239's latest outburst.  
The Foundation cannot afford another incident of this kind.  
We have no idea how SCP-8018-J even fell into SCP-239's hands in the first place; this means we have no way of countering a possible second instance. Which makes research on SCP-8018-J one of our top priorities at the moment.

For the time being, however, SCP-239 has been temporarily re-located to a different site, under the guise that "An evil entity has been found haunting the school" and that it must be transferred somewhere else for its own safety.

It seemed rather malcontent, which is never good news when it comes to SCP-239. But a fortunate truth about prepubescent children, human or otherwise, is that one singular thing never holds their attention for long.   
  


-Gears

* * *

  
**Surveilance Log S███, Date █-██-████**

13:48 Bright is seen running through the hallways of Site 17. He knocks over ████ and spills ███ on one of the staff.

13:49 The appendages crawl down the hallway in pursuit of Bright at a speed of approximately █ km/h. Personnel become alarmed and attempt to move out of the way. Some manage to flee the scene, however others end up entangled in the tendrils. Those who are caught only initially put up a fight, and then appear to gradually relax as the tendrils ███ and [DATA REDACTED] them. The subjects display a heightened level of arousal, as well as joy, excitement, and an eagerness to perform sexual acts with the entities.

13:52 An alarm sounds. Bright utilizes his security clearance card to enter one of the faculty storage rooms, and locks the door behind him. He scours the establishment, opening and closing numerous cabinets and other recipients. He arms himself with a Winchester M1897 shotgun, 5 rounds of 12 gauge bullets, a taser, and ████. He is sweating profusely and appears aroused, despite being in distress.

13:54 The tentacles break down the storage room door. Bright opens fire on the entities.

* * *

  
**Post Incident Interview Log X████, Date ██-█-████**

**Dr**. ████: "So, Dr. Kondraki: it appears that SCP-239 displayed abilities far more destructive than recorded in previous experiment logs, going as far as to create a replica of another SCP. You have worked with it in the past: do you believe this is a sign that the risks outweigh the potential benefits of keeping 239 alive?"

 **Dr** _._ **Kondraki** : "I, well, she…no. This was a freak accident. I haven't got the damndest clue what the hell happened or how, but you can't blame it on the kid. She had no idea what she was doing."

 **Dr.** ████: "Apart from that, it influenced members of staff that weren't even at Site 17 at the time of the incident into performing certain…acts, as well transporting other personnel to said location."

 **Dr: Kondraki** : "I'm very well aware of that."

 **Dr**. ████: "This would include you, Dr. Kondraki. Though you were on site when the incident occurred, your coworker, Dr. Alto Clef, hadn't been."

 **Dr. Kondraki** : "…"

 **Dr**. ████: "Dr. Kondraki-"

 **Dr. Kondraki** : "Well, what do you want me to say, exactly? The video footage is all there for the Foundation's viewing pleasure. Me [DATA REDACTED] that bastard has been immortalized for years to come-did you see it, too? Did you enjoy it?"

 **Dr**. ████: "…I didn't. Dr. Kondraki, if you would-"

 **Dr. Kondraki** : "I wonder if anyone's jacked off to it. I wouldn't be surprised, people here are into some weird shit. But man, it just had to be _him_ , didn't it? [Raucous laughter] It's like every star aligned just to spite me. I don't believe in that astrology bullshit, but who knows, maybe my sun sign, moon sign and comet sign, or, whatever all lined up in the shape of a massive middle finger."

 **Dr**. ████: "Sir, still, on the subject of 239 being a potential liability-"

 **Dr. Kondraki** : "Should I be thankful at least _I_ wasn't the one getting done up the ass-? Hey, Clef is going to see this, right? Dickface! I saw you limping a while back, was [DATA REDACTED], huh? Did you [DATA REDACTED] when I [DATA EXPUNGED]? That's what you get for ██ ████, but then again, you were [DATA REDACTED] like a ██ ██, so I guess that-"

[It is at this point that Dr. Kondraki is kindly asked to leave the premises, and escorted out by a pair of guards].

* * *

  
**Audio Log KC███-████ Date: █-██-████**

[The sound of a door opening is heard]

<Kondraki> I…Clef? What the hell are you doing here?

<Clef> I don't know Kondraki, what am I doing here?

<Kondraki> I-just get to the point and don't mess around, I'm really not in the mood today.

<Clef> That wasn't a joke, Kondraki. I'm serious.

<Kondraki> Well, excuse me if I don't believe you.

<Clef> I genuinely have no idea how I got here.

<Kondraki> Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Maybe if you weren't such a lying asshole all the time, I'd take you seriously.

<Clef> That's rich, why don't you go tell a fish to stop swimming, or a bird to stop flying? Anyways…

<Kondraki> …

<Clef> …

<Kondraki> _WHAT?!_

<Clef> I'm…not sure…

<Kondraki> Okay, either you get the hell out or-

<Clef> Listen, Kondraki. I'm a liar. Okay? I admit that. I have no problem admitting it. I take pride in it, even. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. But…listen to me. To what I have to say.

<Kondraki> Why should I? Every moment spent paying attention to you is the equivalent of flushing twenty bucks down the toilet. A complete waste of time and resources.

<Clef> Wow, Konny, I never could've imagined you thought so lowly of me. That hurt my feelings, you know? [Sarcastic]

<Kondraki> Do you even have feelings? Or a heart in your chest, for that matter?

<Clef> There you go, hurting them again! You're so insensitive.

[Silence, followed by footsteps]

<Kondraki> …Wait, why are you so close?

<Clef> Why do you think?

<Kondraki> Hell if I know, I…shit…my head hurts…

<Clef> You don't say… _ugh_ -!

[Shuffling sounds can be made out, while Kondraki groans in discomfort. ~~Refer to video log KC███~~ ]

<Kondraki> Get off me, you piece of shit-

<Clef> [Unintelligible]

<Kondraki> Heh, figures.

<Clef> So? What do you say?

<Kondraki>…

[DATA REDACTED]

* * *

  
**Surveilance Log KC███, Date █-██-██**

_[Per order of O-5-█, the following footage has been completely expunged from the report log. Personnel with O-4 clearance or higher may access the content, should they wish to view it, however for the sake of their psychological well-being, it is highly discouraged anybody attempt to do so]_

* * *

**  
Personal log of dr. Jack Bright, Date █-██-████**

Shit, shit, _shit_! What the hell is that thing?!

[Sound of rounds being fired, followed by a loud shriek, and a firearm being reloaded]

Everytime I blast one of its limbs off, another just grows right back. Not only is it one horny son of a bitch, it's also hard to kill.

[More shots being fired]

Shit…I-[Heavy breathing]…it must have been...that…does the thing emit some pheromones or something…I can't…afford to stay in its presence for too long, its, its messing with my head, I-F-CK!

[The sound of an electronic device falling to the floor is heard. A shotgun runs out of rounds. Bright curses. An unidentified metal object is tossed to the ground, and beeps for a few seconds. There is a loud, rumbling sound like an explosion]

[FEED UNAVAILABLE]

* * *

  
**Addendum** : The cause of the explosion has been identified as ██ █ █████ by the recovery team sent to assess the damage. It was later determined that this explosion was also what caused SCPs ██ and ██ to breach containment.

* * *

  
**The following contents are another excerpt from a chapter of SCP-8018-J titled "One Eye to see the Past, One Eye to see the Future, and One Eye to see You"**

[DATA EXPUNGED]

I see no reason for this particular piece of information to be published. In my professional opinion, it is rather superfluous, which is why I took the liberty of removing it from the log.

-Clef

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]  
  


* * *

  
**Excerpt from Post Incident Interview Log X████, Date: ██-█-████**

**Dr**. ████: "…I see. And what was your priority at that time?"

 **Dr. Bright** : "Take a wild guess. As I was saying- the blast seemed to take out the sex-tacles I was dealing with, but by that time they had spread across half the facility. The view looked like if big-budget Hollywood decided to produce a porno, it was…I'm not going expand on that. Anywho, luckily for moi, that meant the things were a little too deep in their business to notice me, and I managed to sneak past Cthulu the sex offender, but…"

[Dr. Bright suddenly breaks out into a fit of laughter]

 **Dr**. ████: "Dr. Bright? Sir?"

[Bright continues laughing. He sniffles and buries his head in his hands]

 **Dr. Bright** : "Apologies, Dr. ████. It's just, every time I remember it, I [Chuckle]. Oh man, oh man-" [Laughter resumes]

 **Dr**. ████: "…Every time you remember what, sir?"

 **Dr. Bright** : "I mean, it's going to be on the report, right? Or maybe it'll be expunged. I don't know-I guess that would be for the best. As funny as it was, the image of Clef [DATA REDACTED] by Kondraki is something I fear is scarred into these retinas forever. And every other pair of retinas I'll ever come to see through."

* * *

  
**Audio Log K2███-████ Date: █-██-████**

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[A door is opened. A man shouts in surprise. A moment of silence follows, succeeded by sounds of scraping, shuffling and banging, and of a large body falling to the floor. Refer to video log K2███-████]

<Bright> …Holy shit.

<Clef> I…don't know what happened.

<Bright> That's the wrong line, you're supposed to say "it's not what it looks like".

<Clef> It really isn't. I can't believe I just-and that it never even occurred to me that-

<Bright> Weren't you recently assigned to SCP-823? What are you doing all the way over here?

<Clef> I'd like to know that too, yes, especially since up until half an hour ago, I was there and not here.

<Bright> Half an hour ago? Talk about coincidences.

<Clef> …On that note, what happened to you? I've definitely seen you in better shape.

<Bright> Well…it's going to sound a little…outlandish-

<Clef> That's not in anyone's vocabulary here.

<Bright> Basically, there's a huge mass of self-regenerating, anomalous tentacles loose throughout the facility that [DATA REDACTED] anybody they get their slimy appendages on.

<Clef> You don't say.

[Clef mumbles something indiscernible to himself. Loud thuds of objects crashing to the floor can be heard]

<Bright> Hey, what are you-

<Clef> You've felt confused since this all started, haven't you? Like you just woke up in a dream you can't quite control, and you're fading in and out of consciousness. Like the whole world is warping and twisting around you.

<Bright> I guess that's one way to put it.

[Shuffling, followed by a firearm being cocked]

<Clef> I know who's responsible for this.

* * *

  
**Personal log of Dr. Kain Pathos Crow, Date █-██-████**

I can't believe this. I mean, I guess I can, but this on a whole different level of preposterous.

[Kain yelps in pain. A female voice is heard apologizing]

No, it's okay, 105, thank you for your help. Anyways…as it turns out, the entire facility appears to be infested by a large number of anomalous appendages-anomalous appendages with regenerative properties, and an appetite for human…uhm…

[Silence]

[Kain clears his throat] I did what I could, but the things were vicious. They demolished SCP-244-ARC, crushing it into a pile of rubble. But, they didn't appear that interested in me. I managed to escape, though I broke my leg during my brief entanglement with 244 and the entities. I still dragged myself all the way here, to 105's cell, and, luckily, she was able to help medicate my wounds.

[Indiscernible, followed by laughter]

Yes. Again, thank you very much for your assistance. I'll definitely keep your request in mind.

* * *

**Surveillance Log K2███, Date █-██-██**

14:03 [DATA EXPUNGED].

14:06 Bright enters room ██. He is startled, and shouts. Clef and Kondraki do the same.

14:07 Clef pushes Kondraki off of him. Kondraki stumbles backwards. [DATA REDACTED]. Clef appears to be in a state of shock.

14:08 Clef grabs a ██ from a nearby shelf and proceeds to bash Kondraki over the head with it. Kondraki falls to the floor, unconscious.

14:09 Conversation between Clef and Bright ensues [refer to audio log Audio Log K2███-████]

14:13 Bright and Clef exit room ██.

14:15 Bright and Clef continue through ██ ████. Clef utilizes his clearance card to bypass any checkpoints.

14:17 Clef is startled by something. He scans his surroundings, and then pushes Bright out of the way. He stumbles to the ground.

14:18 One of the walls begins corroding. It turns into a viscous, black mass before disintegrating entirely. A male D-Class, wearing a mask which resembles SCP-035 steps out from the black rubble. The subject's body is decaying at a heightened rate. Chunks of rotten flesh fall off of its hands. Clef opens fire on the entity.

* * *

  
**The following is another excerpt from SCP-8018-J, which we urge no Foundation personnel to tamper with. It is from a chapter titled "Noli Timere Messorem".**

  
_But the raven with the black feathers, inky and deep as the night sky itself, danced in a manner he could not possibly understand or fathom._

_  
Neither now, nor at any point ever in his incredibly long-lasting existence, would the entity known only as SCP 035, ever truly comprehend the deadly ways of the one who he loved the most. But he didn't have to understand to desire._

_The dance, the harmonious, mesmerizing movements of long, gloved hands; he wished for them to touch him again, to touch him all over in that gentle way only they knew how. The deep, red blood seeping from open carcasses, slowly dripping down weathered oak tables; he wished to see it again, taste it again, smell it again, experience it with every single one of his senses. The low, soothing voice that lulled you towards your doom, like the reaper enticed those on their deathbed to sleep one last time: SCP 035 longed for nothing more than to hear that voice speak for infinity. For infinity, and perhaps even longer, he could listen to his beloved whisper sweet nothings to his rotting corpses, or utter curses in long-forgotten languages._

_But he couldn't. His lover had danced with him under the sky with no moons and too many suns, taken him by the hand, and cherished the blackness of his soul as if it had been his own. But now he was gone. He was nowhere to be found. From within the glass prison, SCP 035 would call, yearning for an answer, hoping to be heard, but only the wrong people ever replied._

_And this drove him mad. The thought spun in his mind over and over again like a senile seamstress, until his beloved became the subject of any and all musings. Every single day and every single night. From the morning he could not see to the twilight he could feel deep within._

_He wanted to see the raven dance again, nay, he was going to see the raven dance again. This was non-negotiable, it was not up for discussion: what 035 wanted, 035 got. And he wanted nothing more than to watch those hands stitch and sew life together, giving and taking in equal amounts. He wanted his touch, he wanted to hear his voice, feel it reverberate inside of him whenever he spoke._

_He was going to see him again. No matter the cost, no matter what, SCP 035 and SCP 049 would be reunited. They would once again come together, to be as whole as they had once been._

_And there was nothing 035 wasn't willing to do to make this happen._

* * *

**Addendum** : Staff have confirmed that the instance of what looked to be SCP-035, was in fact just a replica. A byproduct of SCP-239's powers, based on what information it could gather from SCP-8018-J. In fact, while SCP-239 had met with almost all individuals that were directly affected by its powers, it had no prior knowledge of SCP-035's existence up until that point.

* * *

  
**Post Incident Interview Log X████, Date ██-█-████**

**Dr.** ████: "So, Dr. Clef, do you have any comments regarding incident 239-8018-J?"

 **Dr. Clef** : " I merely hope it has served as a lesson for a few my colleagues."

 **Dr**. ████: "You're referring to the various attempts at weaponizing SCP-239, I assume?"

 **Dr. Clef** : "That, among other things."

 **Dr**. ████: "So you believe it is a liability?"

 **Dr. Clef** : "I believe the Foundation has been far too lax when it comes to its containment procedures. They seem to be under the illusion that so long as it is wearing 9902-J, nothing could possibly go awry. And yet here we are."

 **Dr. Clef** : "It's growing older. It is no longer the small child my coworkers held oh-so-dear. How long do they plan on keeping this 'Witch' ruse up? It has begun to question the people around it and their intentions. It has begun to question the nature of its powers and of the Foundation itself-or rather, as it calls it, 'The School of Magic'. And what will you do when it inevitably finds out? What will you do, what protocol will be enacted, when it learns that all of this-[Wide gesturing]…that everything it has ever known, is a lie?"

 **Dr. Clef** : "We lucked out this time. I was able to escape its influence and take control of the situation; but we won't keep getting lucky forever. Much like the Damocles' sword, it all hangs over our heads, threatening to fall at any moment."

 **Dr**. ████: "Are you suggesting SCP-239 be terminated, Sir?"

 **Dr. Clef** : "I'm simply asking wether ████ █ ███ ████ are willing to make a mistake, one that could cost everyone everything, all for the sake of a single creature."

* * *

  
**Audio Log X███-████ Date: █-██-████**

<Bright> What the-WHAT THE FU-

[Sound of shots being fired, as well as that of pained grunts. Deep, raucous laughter follows]

<???> YOU THINK THAT IS ENOUGH TO STOP ME?

[More gunshots. Pieces of unidentified matter fall to the floor with thumps and squelches]

<Clef> Bright! You hold the thing off- I need to reach 239's cell-!

[Empty shotgun clicking, followed by curses]

<Bright> Is that 035?! Why the hell is it here?!

<Clef> Use your eyes! That's not 035- [Sound of shotgun being reloaded] its features look nothing like it!

<Bright> But-!

<???> [Screams of rage]

<Bright> Goddammit!

[Additional rounds being fired. Sounds of a person running away from the scene can be heard amidst the chaos]

* * *

  
~~Three days. I've been trying to wash out the stench of octopus from my mouth for three days, THREE WHOLE DAYS! I've scrubbed my teeth raw, I don't think I have any gums left anymore. The cafeteria served calamari yesterday-I nearly threw up!~~   
~~I'll never look at seafood the same way again.~~

  
-██

~~Hey man, could've been worse. Have you read Dr. Iceberg's interview log?~~

-███

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

**Note to staff** : This is not a public messaging board, this is a Foundation report log. It is not for expressing one's grievances, consoling victims of tentacle related trauma, or making terrible puns. ~~For anyone who wishes to engage in such behaviours, Dr. Glass has instated a support group ██ █ ████. Any interested parties should consider submitting an application.~~

-Malia

 **  
Addendum** : Following Dr. Bright's ████ █ ██ █████, the support group has been disbanded.

* * *

  
**Personal log of Dr. A. Clef, Date █-██-████**

Ah, shit, did he drop this thing?

[A voice can be made out in the background, yelling "INSOLENT FOOL, NO ONE WILL KEEP ME FROM HIM. YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR AUDACITY"]

Oh, shut up, will you? Jesus, having one of you around is bad enough already, don't tell me we have to deal with two of you now…

[The other voice continues shouting curses and profanities. A loud sigh follows]

Clef told me that he believes 239 to be responsible for this mess. I mean, his theory makes sense. I can't think of any other SCP off the top of my head that would be capable of something like this, except maybe 343…still, shouldn't have 9902 prevented her powers from getting this out of hand? Did she take it off? And even so-there's too many things that still don't make sense. Like that guy over there-

[A moment of silence, followed by more cursing]

As far as I'm aware, 239 is only allowed to meet with a select number of other SCPs, and outside of the anomalies she occasionally interacts with, is not to be informed of any other Foundation entities or activities. 

It's too…no, there's no way it's just a coincidence. Down to its powers, too many of this thing's properties align with those of 035. So what gives?

Somebody must've told her about it-but, if that were the case, they would've been found out and punished immediately.

[Feed temporarily cuts out. Static is heard for a few seconds before the feed returns]

You know, you could learn a thing or two from your-cousin? Brother? Clone? Whatever. We call him 035, ever heard of him? He's an asshole, but at least he's a polite asshole. Dare I say, a charming fellow, even! Well, as charming as possessed masks that produce highly acidic, corrosive liquids can be, that is.

[Silence]

Hey, where did all your-

[FEED UNAVAILABLE]

* * *

  
**Partial log, recovered from ████**

-ING HELL! NOT THOSE THINGS AGAIN! GET AWAY FROM ME-!

* * *

**Audio Log S-J-239, Date █-██-████**

  
<239> Oh! High wizard Clef, Sir, greetings-er, what brings you here?

<Clef> Nothing much, I was simply sent to check on you.

<239> Really? This isn't another pop quiz, right?

<Clef> Nothing of the sort. So, how have you been?

<239> Me? Great! My birthday was a few weeks ago. I'm still sad you couldn't make it, Mr. Clef, it was tons of fun!

<Clef> I bet.

<239> Yeah! Mr. Kain brought me a chocolate-strawberry cake, Iris gave me my first-ever make up kit as a gift, Dr. Kondraki brought these beautiful butterflies along with him and-oh! Mr. Bright transmuted himself into a cat! He looked so cute! He was a fluffy orange tabby.

<Clef> That sounds wonderful.

<239> I wanted to save some cake for you, but Mr. Kondraki said that you don't like strawberries. But that reminds me-oh! Please don't touch that!

<Clef> What, this?

<239> Yes, uhm-

<Clef> Is it something you're not supposed to be reading?

<239> N-no, it's, er-

<Clef> SCP fanfiction…personal favorites…?

<239> Please, Sir, put it down…

[Sound of pages being flipped]

<239> …

<Clef> …Did you write this?

<239> NO! It-

<Clef> Someone gave it to you, then?

<239> Neither, I just found it there, I swear, Sir, please believe me…

<Clef> It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just trying to figure this out.

<239> Did I do something wrong?

<Clef> I'll let you know.

<239> [Choked up] S-sir, I…I'm sorry if I did something wrong…I, I didn't mean to-

<Clef> Pipe down. Now, answer me: how exactly did you get your hands this book?

<239> I-is it forbidden, or-?

<Clef> _Answer me_.

<239> I already told you, I swear! I just found it on my bookshelf with all my other stuff! I don't know how it got there-!

<Clef> There's-

[Loud rumbling and shrieking sounds]

<239> W-what was that-?

<Clef> [mumbled] _Shit._

* * *

  
**Addendum** : Staff replayed the security tapes in SCP-239's containment cell many times over, but did not notice anything out of the ordinary on the first few viewings. After slowing down the footage, Dr. ██ noticed that on frame number ████, █-██-████, SCP-8018-J spontaneously manifested inside of SCP-239's furnishings. No static or sign of outside interference was discovered.  
A team of researchers compromising of Dr. ██, Dr. ████ and Dr. █ have been assigned to ████ █ ████, and hopefully understand the nature of SCP-8018-J, how it functions, and why it appeared where it first did.

* * *

  
**Surveillance Log S-J-2█, Date █-██-████**

14:25 █ anomalous appendages break down the door of SCP-239's enclosure.

13:26 Clef fires 6 rounds of bullets. All of them hit their target. The tentacles, injured, writhe as an unknown fluid secretes from their wounds.

13:27 SCP-239 emits several rays of iridescent white light from its palms. They hit the tendrils. A few crumble into piles of dust, others shriek and spasm. The entities begin retreating.

13:28 SCP-239 turns to Clef and speaks [AUDIO LOG UNAVAILABLE]. It is caught by one of the tentacles and yanked into the air. Clef shouts, and empties out his shotgun. The tentacle does not release its hold on SCP-239.

13:29 Clef lunges for the tentacle holding SCP-239 captive. While he attempts to pull it off of and free it, SCP-239 summons two balls of flame and throws them at the tendril. It lets go of it, and it falls to the ground. Clef however gets caught by the other appendages.

13:30 SCP-239 keeps hurling fireballs at the entities. They appear weak against the element, and do not regenerate after being incinerated. They loosen their hold on Clef and he manages to escape from their grasp. Due to SCP-239's constant barrage of flame, the containment cell has caught fire. Neither Clef nor SCP-239 seem aware of this at the moment.

13:32 SCP-239 continues attacking the appendages. They slowly retreat. It turns around to speak to Clef; he is bleeding and appears to be in a state of duress. He answeres.

13:33 Clef becomes aware that the room has caught fire*. He shouts. SCP-239 turns to look at him, and screams in shock. It releases a jet of water from its wrists in an attempt to put out the flames. Clef grabs the shotgun and grabs SCP-239 by the hand, pulling it out of the room and fending off any approaching tentacles with the firearm's stock.

13:35 Clef and SCP-239 run down the hallway. The tentacles follow in pursuit, but they are slowing down. Their movements become gradually more lethargic, and the entities seem to lack the energy to lash out. A few release a couple of the staff they had been holding captive within their mass. The researchers fall to the floor, ████ ██ █ ████.

13:36 Clef covers SCP-239's eyes.

* * *

  
_[It was at this point that MTF Epsilon-11 finally reached Site 17 after being dispatched. The tentacles no longer seemed to put up much resistance, and, via the use of flamethrowers, were successfully neutralized. The staff that had been held captive by the anomalous appendages were rescued by the MTF. Though some had to be rushed to the medical bay, no casualties amongst faculty were reported._

_All SCPs, including SCP-239, SCP-██ and SCP-██ were successfully re-contained. Class-B amnestics designed specifically for SCP-239 were utilized; they appear to have been partially successful. Subject only hazily recollects the events that transpired, and speaks of them as if they had been a dream._

_Foundation Personnel that had been previously affected by SCP-239's powers have returned to normal*. The status-quo has been successfully reestablished. Any and all traces of Incident-239-8018-J, sans for those which have been approved for testing by O-5-█ and O-5-█, have been neutralized.]_   
  
  


* * *

  
*SCP 9902-J is a small silver necklace with the power to limit a reality bender's abilities. This includes: their influence on the reality surrounding them, both that which they can see and cannot see, their influence on people and their psyche, and their manipulation of inanimate objects. If this sounds like something awfully convenient that the author pulled out of their ass just for the sake of this fic making sense, it's because it is.

*Almost all of SCP-239's enclosure was damaged due to the flames, including SCP-8018-J. Researchers were able to salvage bits and pieces, however the bottom half of almost all pages is either incomplete or missing entirely.

*It has been reported that following incident 239-8018-J, Dr. Iceberg and Dr. Gears have been spotted by numerous Foundation staff interacting, in a manner witnesses have described as "coquettish". ~~If anyone has any information regarding the two's relationship status, please report to Dr. Bright immediately.~~ Dr. Bright, I urge you to not poke your nose in matters that don't concern you.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow ok this took way longer than I expected 
> 
> Originally I had planned to write this like a normal fanfic, but then I thought to myself "hey why not write it as if it were an actual report log"?? It seemed like a good idea at the time but hooooo boy, did I come to regret my decision. However, I had already written like 3k words by then, and thought "oh well might as well finish it"
> 
> Consider this whole thing an...affectionate parody of fanfic. I am the very person I am poking fun at, after all. Cringe culture is dead do whatever you want babeyyy 
> 
> Anyways I’m tired and it’s late here and I’m going to bed g’night. Hope the few of y’all who read this enjoyed!!


End file.
